Brigitta Hoeferle joins us from Atlanta, Georgia to discuss relationships and how to have healthy ones. Born in South Germany, she grew up in a small village between two vineyards. Both parents stayed together until her father passed 10 years ago. She grew up (the youngest) with two sisters. She recalls how she was inspired by Molly Ringwald as a young German person. Both Todd and Brigitta reflect on being bullied as a child in public school and the outcome of those experiences.
The earliest childhood memory for Brigitta was picking strawberries with her pet Great Dane and walking around the villages. She recalls having a very happy and protective childhood but recalling the narrow-minded thinking of some in the same area where she grew up. Brigitta remembers being the leader of the pack in her friend group and didn’t realize her interest in boys until she was 16. It wasn’t until she was 17 that she started to realize what else was out in the world and that was when she had her first long-term relationship of 3 years.
Brigitta discusses the feeling of being stuck and how that motivated her to make changes. We discuss cultural diversity and the need for some to travel and others who are content at home. Brigitta believes there are individual preferences within each and every one of us that we cannot put in a box. Brigitta loves to travel, and Todd hates to fly and is content on the ground. Coming to live in the USA from Germany was a huge achievement in her life. She appreciates the Land of Opportunity that America offers. In Germany, she shares that it is much more difficult and bureaucratic to start a business…” they will bury you in paperwork”, she recalls.
Even with the stark differences between countries, Brigitta feels that one is not necessarily better than the other. Every place presents different pros and cons. When you understand the environment you are in, you are in a position to keep yourself safe, even in a perceived dangerous area. Todd shares his thoughts on being a responsible gun-carrying citizen and the dread of ever having to think of fending off a criminal with deadly force.
We talk about the changes in society over the decades, increasing prices, and things we cannot control. Brigitta does not take hate as part of her portfolio, Todd, and she agrees that love is the way. Brigitta believes in living outside the box and helps others to find their limitations, communication, and behavior are holding them back from what they want.
The results you receive is in direct relationship to the quality of your inner and outer communication. She helps people look at themselves honestly and find what they want in life. She works with individuals, corporate trainers, and anyone who wants to change for the better. Brigitta helps people uncover the truths in what often play out as unproductive cycles in life. Her focus is to work to help others to create a win-win-win situation.
It’s important to practice “I” statements, rather than “you” statements. Owning our behavior and circumstances starts with I statements. It is not about the other person, it is you. We must learn to differentiate between you and I statements and own the outcomes.