Ruth Fearnow joins us today from Fort Wayne, Indiana to discuss mindfulness for life and how her life led to her purpose. Born in Pacifica, California Ruth has vague memories of her early childhood. Her father was an FBI, CIA, NSA, and intelligence professional. Her earliest memory as a child was chasing her cat around the house. Ruth grew up with 5 siblings, being the 4th born. She remembers feeling alone, despite having a family around her.
As a therapist, Ruth believes in diving deep into the root cause or the why of experiences.
Todd shares his experience with Landmark Education and The Landmark Forum, as well as one of his favorite books “Your Erroneous Zones” by Wayne Dyer. He recalls learning integrity and the amazing experiences he had while there. Ruth shares how some people can experience struggle by comparing themselves to others. This is not a healthy choice. Ruth is about responsibility and compassion in her therapy with clients.
Ruth’s parents were divorced when she was 14. She recalls her father being a principle-based man who was authentic and imperfect in the most beautiful ways. After several years her father tried to get back with her mom, but the timing was not right. He ended up meeting and marrying someone else, who unfortunately passed away. While he was grieving, Ruth went for a visit and found out her father has already engaged again – to her mother. They remarried and re-discovered the spark that originally brought them together so many years ago. She recalls her father sharing that what saddened him most is the thought of not growing old with his original wife (her mom). Her father passed away but left a legacy of humor, wisdom, and practical jokes – right up till the very end of his life. He was an amazing man.
She comments that men in later life who do not remarry have a higher suicide rate, while women who do not remarry later in life end up starting a bridge club. Men tend to take being alone harder than women.
Ruth shares a wild story from her teen years. She innocently went along with a friend off-roading and ended up getting stuck in the middle of nowhere. The guy she was with ended up climbing the fence of a local military base and ended up stealing a military vehicle. He ended up crashing through the gate in a stolen military vehicle. Not knowing what to do, she got in and they used the truck to free their stuck vehicle…and they put the stolen truck back inside the gate. They both got arrested for a slew of charges by MPs from the military base.
Looking at the core of what causes issues, Ruth helps people practice mindfulness, grounding, and other forms of emotional regulation. As a therapist, she strives to find what makes people tick, heal and learn to understand mindfulness. We discuss avoidance and delaying emotional reactions in certain circumstances. Through her innovative techniques, she experiences complete transformation with her clients in a remarkably short period. She helps people get out of their “story”, which feeds the drama. She comments that people sometimes don’t even seem to recognize their transformation, it happens in a very natural way. To do this type of work requires an ability to experience discomfort and work through it.
Her latest book, “Therapeutic Mindfulness, A Healing Skill Not A Coping Skill” is available on Amazon.